Shocker: God discovered working in a brothel in Ciudad Juarez.

MEXICO: God, the supreme being, maker of all things, the divine creator of all – has been found…here on Earth.  Apparently, God has been here for the last 27 years, living in poverty in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico.  God, known around the world by many names, (Yaweh, Allah, Krisha, Zeus, etc.), is known locally as Cora, is a single mother of two children, eking out a living as a prostitute in a brothel.

God was recently discovered by Fr. Sebastyn Smyrnalovka from Huendoara, Romania while performing what he claimed to be “missionary work” in the brothel.  According to regular customers, Fr. Sebastyn has been holding ‘prayer vigils’ with the women of this brothel for years.  These sessions often last for about 15 minutes and the Fr. is very generous with the girls, leaving a 15% gratuity and sometimes more.

Recently, when all of his favorite girls were occupied, Fr. Sebastyn was very eager to pray with someone and settled on God.  The exact events are still a little uncertain, but shortly after entering the room with God, Fr. Sebastyn came out of the room naked and shrieking about his undeserving penis, crying for forgiveness ran out into the street.

A small crowd gathered near the brothel, which faces the Josue Neri Santos Gym.  God had already returned to her normal duties of cleaning up after the prostitutes and their patrons.  On a busy Saturday night, God often works 12-14 hours changing sheets, cleaning toilets, mopping vomit, urine and feces from the floors.  With the increased drug traffic in Ciudad-Juarez, the brothels are busier than ever.

Many of the clean-up girls, like God were born to women that worked in the brothels.  They live and play here while their mothers are working.  Many of them begin working here at an early age, because youth fetches a high price among the clientele.  In fact, girls beyond the age of 21 are considered to be ‘old’ and they are often passed over for the younger, teenage girls.  Girls like God will often take on housekeeping duties, to replace the lost income.  Still, in busy times they are often called in to service men when they require multiple women.  Usually this is for hand-jobs, but can include any sex act the client requires and has the money to pay for.

God’s two children, Jesus, age 7 and Maria, age 5 work in the brothel as well.  Maria will run to nearby stores for liquor and cigarettes for the clients and tampons, condoms and douche kits for the women.  Jesus is supposed to be in school, but with no one to escort him to the bus, he has begun playing with the roving packs of boys that are everywhere in these neighborhoods.  Most of these boys will end up in gangs and many of them already are by the age of 9.  God knows that it may already be too late for Jesus, but she has made arrangements to cross the border into The United States.

God will leave Ciudad Juarez next month, packed with other families in the back of a truck and ride for two days into the desert where they will attempt to cross into El Norte. God has given up waiting for Christians, Muslims, Jews and all other religions to get anything done to help poor children, so she is trying to save two at least.  On a break from cleaning toilets, God sat in the kitchen, watching her children eat a simple meal of beans and rice.  Tired and visibly worried, God spoke of her dwindling faith in humanity to take care of anybody.

“People grow up and treat each other like shit.  They let children starve, be raped and killed by the millions.  I think I really screwed up when I built puberty.  The intent was to give people a sense of stewarship and then they would look after the young.  Childhood is supposed to be the age of discovery but all these children learn about is how to get sick, be raped or be killed in a pile of garbage.”

As the Saturday night regulars from the local leather tannery stream in, God gets herself ready for one of her regulars.  He prefers anal sex and often brings a friend.  God says that she doesn’t mind the work, but if they are drunk it can get violent.

Picking up her cigarettes, God thinks out loud:

“You know, I could arrange it that everybody dies at age 25, unless the children are all fed.  So help me, if one of my children die – I will probably do just exactly that.”

Reporting from Ciudad-Juarez,

-gadfly