Posts under ‘sarcasm’

BURBANK: Information is beginning to emerge from the inside the The Walt Disney Company, that the entertainment and media giant is preparing to announce a national health plan for everyone in the U.S.

CEO Robert “Bob” Iger has scheduled a press conference for this Thursday,two hours before President Barack Obama‘s address to the joint chambers of Congress. With rumors swirling of The White House taking up a draft of its own health care plan, this move is clearly designed to beat the President to the punch and gain the initiative.

Today, on the steps of the Minnesota State Capitol, US Senator Al Franken held a press conference to declare his intention to seek a second term as Minnesota’s junior Senator. Sen. Franken spent his entire first term in a lengthy court battle with The Party of “No”. With his wife Fran at his side, he addressed a large crowd of press, supporters and curious onlookers who seemed surprised to learn that Minnesota actually has two US Senators.

POMPANO BEACH: Progressive blogger, The National Gadfly was arrested today outside the West Side Tattoo parlor by Broward County Sheriff’s deputies. Only 30 minutes after a hastily convened grand jury issued an indictment and arrest warrant for The Gadfly, authorities were able to locate the known troublemaker and malcontent via a tip from an estranged lover. Broward County District Attorney Gloria Stevens acted quickly to convene the grand jury after her office was informed of The National Gadfly’s presence in Florida was confirmed.

VAHALLA, NY. Recently, there has been a stream of people quoting Ayn Rand and her novel, Atlas Shrugged as justification for the economic policies that created the current financial crisis. Ms. Rand’s polemic novel which assaulted altruism and government has been quoted and promoted by CEO’s, government officials, lobbyists as well as print, radio and television – and apparently, they’ve all got it wrong.

I’ve got a few things to get off my chest, in no particular order. I was reading my favorite new blogger VaginaDrum. She has a weekly wrap-up of likes entitled Shit I Like Sunday. Wouldn’t you know it though, my old, crabby ass is taking it in another direction. This also seems to be a great way to clean out all the posts I’ve started and not finished this week.

"The only good union is a dead union!" Osama bin Laden stated in prepared remarks today.

DATELINE MUSCAT, OMAN: Another shocking revelation of anti-Union plotting and scheming today, but this time it was not CEO’s of TARP Bailout recipient banks.  The attendees?  Senior Al Qaeda management, including Osama bin Laden, Ayman al-Zawahiri and over two dozen more senior managers.  It marked a historic first time for so many senior managers from Al Qaeda to be in one place at the same time. Under normal circumstances and for security reasons, Al Qaeda leaders are not allowed within 50 miles of each other but desperate times call for desperate measures.

DATELINE WAZIRISTAN:

In a rare public appearance, Al Qaeda CEO Osama bin Laden challenged President-Elect of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama to a basketball game between only the two of them.  In a hastily called press conference near the ibn-Fazal Notouri public square, Mr. bin Laden addressed a pool of war correspondents and two beat reporters from the Green Bay Packers’ Radio Network.  Although bin Laden and the rest of the al Qaeda management team are known for unorthodox tactics, this move has turned more than a few heads.

In prepared remarks, Mr. bin Laden had little good to say about Mr. Obama.